I am writing in regard to your pouch chicken product. On the top, right hand corner of the package, it says "Easy to open, no drain package" Let me tell you this, that statement is a lie.
Perhaps you should change the punctuation in that blurb so it says "Easy to open. No, drain package." because there is chicken juice all over my office now. "No drain" I thought, "I'll just open this package and plop the contents on my soft flour tortilla" This turned out to be my biggest fallacy in some time as chicken juice and ploop just ran all over covering my desk.
At once, I finally realized the answer to an age old question. What came first, the chicken, or the egg? Well, I will tell you that the chicken came first because after this chickeny mess, there is egg all over my face. What fresh hell has been wrought on me by some angry, vengeful god to meet the misfortune of your splattery mess of a chicken pouch product. What can we do about this.
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Have you ever wanted to send a letter or email to a big corporation? Have you ever wanted to be a prick in said email? I have and I did. Read as my many aliases bring a tiny bit of joy or anguish to the lives of some corporate email readers
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All of these words belong to me and are hence copyrighted. If you try to use them elsewhere for your own personal gain, I will shoot you in the dick or something much more rational and less severe.
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